Stuck Between Family Expectations & Your Own Life?
Therapy for Boundaries, Guilt & People-Pleasing in Ontario
You're not a bad daughter or son for wanting your own life. Therapy for second-gen Asian-Canadians and anyone navigating family enmeshment, people-pleasing, and decision anxiety. Online across Ontario.
"Growing up with a single mom, every decision I made was filtered through: 'How will this affect our relationship? If I take a job out of the city, who's going to take care of my mom?'"
Free 15-minute consultation · No commitment
You might be here because…
You can't make decisions without your family's approval
Every major decision — where to live, what job to take, who to date, whether to have kids — requires your parents' blessing. You're an adult, but you don't feel like one. The guilt of disappointing them is paralyzing.
You're stuck between being a 'good daughter/son' and living your own life
You love your family and want to honor them. But their expectations are suffocating. You feel guilty for wanting independence. You wonder: 'Am I selfish for choosing myself?'
You're a chronic people-pleaser and can't say no
You say yes to everything — family obligations, friends' requests, work demands — even when you're exhausted. You internalize your feelings instead of expressing them. You put everyone else first and don't know how to stop.
You're not selfish. You're not a bad person. And you don't have to choose between family and yourself — there's a way forward.
Corinna Shen
Registered Psychotherapist (Q) · CRPO Registered
Second-Generation Asian-Canadian
🇨🇦 English
I'm a therapist, but I'm also someone who's been exactly where you are.
I grew up with a single mom, and every decision I made was filtered through one question: "How will this affect our relationship with my mom?"
When I thought about taking a job in another city, I'd immediately think: "Who's going to take care of her if I leave?" When I made plans with friends, I'd worry: "Is she going to feel abandoned?" Even as an adult, I felt like I couldn't make decisions without considering how they'd impact her.
I struggled with setting boundaries — with my mom, with my in-laws, with friends. I internalized everything instead of expressing it. I'd think "I did everything wrong" instead of saying what I actually needed.
I know what it's like to feel stuck between honoring your family and living your own life.
Now I work with people — especially second-generation Asian-Canadians — who are navigating the same struggles: family enmeshment, people-pleasing, guilt about independence, and decision paralysis.
You're not a bad daughter or son for wanting your own life. You're allowed to choose yourself.
If I Choose Myself, Who Takes Care of Them?
This is the question that keeps so many people stuck. It's not just about setting boundaries — it's about the deep guilt that comes with prioritizing your own needs.
"If I take a job out of the city, who's going to take care of my mom? If I move in with my partner, am I abandoning my family? If I say no to this obligation, am I a bad daughter/son?"
These questions aren't just practical — they're emotional. And therapy can help you navigate them without guilt, without feeling selfish, and without having to choose between family and yourself.
There's a way to honor your family AND live your own life. It's not one or the other.
Decision Anxiety: When Every Choice Feels Impossible
Do you ask everyone else's opinion before making a decision? Do you obsess over "what if I choose wrong?" Do you avoid making decisions because you're terrified of the outcome?
"Anxiety shows up as: 'What if I choose one route and it doesn't work out?' Every decision feels like it could be the wrong one."
Why decision-making feels impossible when you're a people-pleaser:
- •You've learned to prioritize everyone else's needs over your own
- •You're terrified of disappointing people you love
- •You don't trust your own judgment because you've been taught to defer to others
- •You catastrophize outcomes instead of seeing decisions as experiments
Therapy helps you:
- ✓Rebuild trust in your own judgment
- ✓Separate your needs from your family's expectations
- ✓Make decisions based on YOUR values, not guilt
- ✓Learn that "choosing yourself" doesn't mean "abandoning your family"
Navigating Asian Family Expectations as a Second-Gen Canadian
If you're a second-generation Asian-Canadian, you know the specific pressures: filial piety, collectivist values, immigrant parent sacrifices, cultural expectations around success, marriage, and family.
Common struggles Corinna helps with:
- •Guilt about wanting independence ("My parents sacrificed everything for me, how can I choose myself?")
- •Pressure to live at home until marriage (even when you're 30+)
- •Career expectations ("You should be a doctor/lawyer/engineer")
- •Cultural clash ("My parents don't understand my life in Canada")
- •Boundaries with in-laws ("My partner's parents are too involved in our relationship")
- •Choosing a partner your family doesn't approve of
- •Moving out/moving away ("Who will take care of my parents?")
"Being stuck between two cultures doesn't mean you have to pick one and abandon the other. You can honor your family AND live your own life."
Therapy with Corinna means working with someone who understands these cultural dynamics personally — not just academically. You don't have to explain why you feel guilty. She already knows.
If You Can't Say No: Breaking the People-Pleasing Cycle
People-pleasing isn't just about being nice. It's about sacrificing your own needs, avoiding conflict at all costs, and feeling resentful but not knowing how to stop.
Common signs you're a people-pleaser:
- •You say yes even when you want to say no
- •You feel responsible for other people's emotions
- •You avoid conflict because you're terrified of upsetting people
- •You internalize your feelings instead of expressing them
- •You feel guilty when you prioritize yourself
- •You don't know what YOU actually want because you've spent so long focusing on everyone else
"People-pleasers internalize instead of express. Instead of saying 'I need this,' we think 'I did everything wrong.' Instead of setting boundaries, we just take on more."
Therapy helps you learn to:
- ✓Say no without guilt
- ✓Express your needs clearly
- ✓Stop taking responsibility for other people's emotions
- ✓Recognize that setting boundaries doesn't make you selfish
- ✓Build a life based on YOUR values, not everyone else's expectations
Sessions & Pricing
$140 – $165 per session
50-minute sessions · Individual therapy · Online across Ontario
Frequently Asked Questions
The guilt is the hardest part. You've been conditioned to believe that setting boundaries = being selfish. But here's the truth: boundaries aren't walls, they're bridges.
Boundaries allow you to have healthier relationships with the people you love. Without them, you end up resentful, exhausted, and disconnected.
In therapy, we work on:
- Identifying where boundaries are needed
- Understanding why you feel guilty (and challenging those beliefs)
- Practicing boundary-setting in low-stakes situations
- Learning to tolerate the discomfort that comes with saying no
- Recognizing that people who truly love you will respect your boundaries
How Corinna Works
Corinna tailors her approach based on your individual needs. Therapy is collaborative — we work together to find what resonates with you.
You're Allowed to Choose Yourself
Setting boundaries doesn't make you selfish. Wanting your own life doesn't make you a bad daughter or son. You can honor your family AND live authentically.
Questions? Call us: (647) 325-3136 · info@thewaitingroom.ca